November 22, 2013, 9:15 pm
Posted by: Mike

Remember the Seven Dollar Superheroes we collected from our special guests over the course of Desert Bus 7? Did you know that some of the talent and volunteers added their own too?

Here’s the full list we came up with. Have a favorite? Let us know in the comments! And if you feel inspired to draw one, send it in to [email protected]! We’d love to see your creativity


Creator: James Turner

Hero: The Highwayman

Powers: Can create an overpass anywhere, anytime, to get him straight from where he is to where he wants to go.


Matt Fraction

The Variant

Plucks prototype products that were almost made, should have been made but weren’t — grabs them from an alternate dimension where they were made and brings them back to his dimension.


Bill Corbett

Mr. Tambourine Man

Man who is a tambourine who can transcend time and space. Can petrify and shatter dinosaurs.


Louis Moga

Nyan Man

Can summon magical fiery kittens to attack their enemies, and anyone the kittens bite is immediately set on fire.



Harmony Man

Can sing perfect harmony. Can’t pick music very well.


Grant Imahara

Captain Forgetful

Can make you forget a 10-second span of time.


Bobak Ferdowsi


Giant tyrannosaurus with a giant brain and can actually tell us what happened to the dinosaurs and what their world was like.


Mikey Neumann


Multiple personality disorder, each personality has a different power, and changing between them is uncontrollable.


Mia Steinberg

Feli Day

The ability to summon kittens from the ether, cheer you up with it, then poof it out of existence (and into a nice home).



Waffle Man

Uses waffle iron to make waffles or hit them. Sidekick is Maple Syrup who is a large jug with legs.



Chicken Head/Manfoot

Legion of evil animals.


Paul and Storm

83¢ Man

Can always get 83¢ from his pocket.


Paul and Storm


Can drink as much liquid as possible but pees if he gets wet.


Mike Mearls

American Man

Can never understand the metric system.


Rodney Thompson




Peter Lee

Mr. Moneybags

Giant bag of coins to hit people with. Sidekick Exact Change Boy has exact change.


Dan Helmick


Alien with a rainbow gun.


Chris Lindsay


Miniaturized internet explosions.


Chris Tulach

The Commuter

Knows all the bus schedules for whatever city he’s in.


Jimmy Hinson (BCG)

Jurassic Justice

Ability to shoot dinosaurs at poor drivers.


Phil Plait

Hotel Curmudgeon Man

Ability to make people walk quietly late at night.


Harrison Krix

The Temporal Mechanic

Can fast-forward or reverse time on man-made mechanical objects.


Allen Schauffler (AJAM reporter)

Jib Guy

Uses the power of the wind to spread good cheer.


Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw

Super Invisibility Man

The man who can turn invisible, but only while playing the trombone.


Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw

[No name, BONUS second superhero]

The man who can communicate with technology but it all inexplicably hates him.


Bob Chipman

Cheese Man

He has power over cheese: 1. Communicate; 2. Manipulate with lacto-kinetic powers.


Jamie Dillion

Captain Corgi

Can summon a herd of corgis at will; either overwhelms enemies with cuteness or ferociousness


Jim Sterling

Lobster Regurgitator

Pins down criminals with claws and spews mini lobsters at them, then calls the cops on his cell that has moderate service.


Aaron Forsythe

Butter Man

Excretes butter from his hands for toast or corn. Or other stuff.



Scissor Girl

Anytime, anywhere, her hands can turn into any kind of scissors.


Bill’s Mom


Cape made of silica gel packs. When a pack is thrown it turns into a bugsplat and forces someone to do a good deed.



Ginger Whirlwind

Has really long arms and spins like a tornado.



Cosmic Crowbar

See Middle Manager of Justice


Bonnie Burton

Super Snooze

Could make anyone fall asleep instantly; they’ll shut up and get the best night sleep of their lives.


Dale Friesen

Large Print Man

Helps people with unexpected visual problems; sidekick is Corrective Lenses.


Max Temkin

Captain Janeway

Navigating unknown space while upholding Federation law.


Small Ian

Captain Defenestration

Can generate windows anywhere and throws villains out of them.







Cat-Lady Woman

Throws crazy cat ladies who then throw cats at everyone.



Ashra Disastra

Can calm/reverse natural disasters by shaming them into submission.



The Sea Chef

Cooks crustaceans humanely, i.e., without boiling them alive.



Salad Lass

Has a salad spinner shield, a bandolier of weaponized vinaigrettes, and the Tongs of Justice.


Dammit Liz

Forced Perspective

Can make anyone she talks to see her point of view.


Dan Wu

Fiddler on the Roof

While on a roof has a mastery of the violin.



Jerry Rigg

Can build anything but it’s always made of the incorrect materials.


Sol Kauffman

Shipman the Shippingman

Can fit anything into any size packaging and get the lowest shipping rate on it, but anything he does this to is irreversibly changed and it’s different every time.


Mike Whitaker


Uses hip-hop dance moves to fight evil: pop-and-lock = super flexibility; b-girling = super agility; ticking = slows down time; tutting = creates force shield. Armor contains a stereo to drop sick beats.



Little Lady Luck

Very good at catching busses right on time; drinks milk _right_ before it expires.




Travels the world to fight against the bland flavoring of the evil La Chef Dujour wit his utility belt of spices. Sidekick is Condiment Boy.


Graham Stark


Can spontaneously fart on command, with complete control over sound and smell. Used primarily for comedy.


Kathleen De Vere

Derp Cop

He has the power to detain people by blasting them with high intensity Derp Rays.



Disinfectant Lady

Excretes disinfectant.




Sunkern Sunkern, Sunkern Sunkern Sunkern. SUNKERN!!!



The Soccer Team

He can multiply himself into eleven people, but only one can use their hands.



The Feng Shui Ninja

Messes with the feng shui of the room to make everything uncomfortable.



The Pit Stopper

The ability to correct all bad driving.


Kate Stark

Super Squee

Gain power from relative cuteness from those around her.



The Shipinator

Ships anything, anywhere.



Mod Man

Able to read scrolling text with the greatest of ease and able to ban at the speed of light.



Bass Fisherman

He’s a sound-based superhero. He can cause earthquakes with his low voice. The fishing thing is just to confuse his foes.



2-D Lad

Sees everything at 20/15 but it all looks like it’s printed on a piece of paper. Ironically, aper does not exist to him.


Ben W


Can determine any type of poison, but only after ingesting it.



The Metabolizer

Can convert caloric energy _directly_ into physical/force/electrical energy. Weakness: celery.



The ‘Shopper

Able to alter the fabric of reality using only a computer.



Multiple Man

Able to perceive all possible outcomes of decisions, but cannot choose from them.



Conniving Crosstalk

While in a group, he can selectively allow or prevent specific people from hearing conversation, regardless of their position in the group. Weakness: utter silence.




Doesn’t have to sleep — ever! Imagine how much you could get done! Weakness: can’t work faster than a normal person, sleep rays.



Elephant Man

He remembers everything, which fills him with a terrible, tragic sadness.



4 Comments on “Seven-Dollar Superheroes, Assemble!”

  1. I think Blackout was my favorite, just for the way it was told, i.e., Blackout has no idea he’s just narcoleptic.

    By Robyn - November 23rd, 2013 8:53 pm
  2. The Metabolizer was my favorite, for the Extra Credit science joke :)

    For those that don’t get it: celery contains ‘negative calories’; that is, it takes more energy to eat a stick of celery than the celery itself has to begin with.

    By Frednotbob - November 23rd, 2013 10:06 pm
  3. Bus it, I saw the bit with the Feng Shui Ninja, now if only I could remember who came up with it…
    Super Invisibility Man and Cat-Lady Woman are easily my favourite of the bunch though.

    By Mara - November 25th, 2013 4:00 am
  4. […] for more than six days, all of which was streamed live over the Internet. The event featured many special guests, among them Penn and Teller, Paul and Storm, and Bill Corbett — but none as special as the […]

    By Apple II, King of the Desert Bus | Apple II Bits - December 9th, 2013 5:52 am
  5. Leave a Reply