Remember the Seven Dollar Superheroes we collected from our special guests over the course of Desert Bus 7? Did you know that some of the talent and volunteers added their own too?
Here’s the full list we came up with. Have a favorite? Let us know in the comments! And if you feel inspired to draw one, send it in to [email protected]! We’d love to see your creativity
Creator: James Turner
Hero: The Highwayman
Powers: Can create an overpass anywhere, anytime, to get him straight from where he is to where he wants to go.
Matt Fraction
The Variant
Plucks prototype products that were almost made, should have been made but weren’t — grabs them from an alternate dimension where they were made and brings them back to his dimension.
Bill Corbett
Mr. Tambourine Man
Man who is a tambourine who can transcend time and space. Can petrify and shatter dinosaurs.
Louis Moga
Nyan Man
Can summon magical fiery kittens to attack their enemies, and anyone the kittens bite is immediately set on fire.
Stepto
Harmony Man
Can sing perfect harmony. Can’t pick music very well.
Grant Imahara
Captain Forgetful
Can make you forget a 10-second span of time.
Bobak Ferdowsi
Brainosaurus
Giant tyrannosaurus with a giant brain and can actually tell us what happened to the dinosaurs and what their world was like.
Mikey Neumann
Disorder
Multiple personality disorder, each personality has a different power, and changing between them is uncontrollable.
Mia Steinberg
Feli Day
The ability to summon kittens from the ether, cheer you up with it, then poof it out of existence (and into a nice home).
Teller
Waffle Man
Uses waffle iron to make waffles or hit them. Sidekick is Maple Syrup who is a large jug with legs.
Penn
Chicken Head/Manfoot
Legion of evil animals.
Paul and Storm
83¢ Man
Can always get 83¢ from his pocket.
Paul and Storm
Valdeez
Can drink as much liquid as possible but pees if he gets wet.
Mike Mearls
American Man
Can never understand the metric system.
Rodney Thompson
Blackout
Narcolepsy.
Peter Lee
Mr. Moneybags
Giant bag of coins to hit people with. Sidekick Exact Change Boy has exact change.
Dan Helmick
ROYGBIV
Alien with a rainbow gun.
Chris Lindsay
Hubtroller
Miniaturized internet explosions.
Chris Tulach
The Commuter
Knows all the bus schedules for whatever city he’s in.
Jimmy Hinson (BCG)
Jurassic Justice
Ability to shoot dinosaurs at poor drivers.
Phil Plait
Hotel Curmudgeon Man
Ability to make people walk quietly late at night.
Harrison Krix
The Temporal Mechanic
Can fast-forward or reverse time on man-made mechanical objects.
Allen Schauffler (AJAM reporter)
Jib Guy
Uses the power of the wind to spread good cheer.
Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw
Super Invisibility Man
The man who can turn invisible, but only while playing the trombone.
Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw
[No name, BONUS second superhero]
The man who can communicate with technology but it all inexplicably hates him.
Bob Chipman
Cheese Man
He has power over cheese: 1. Communicate; 2. Manipulate with lacto-kinetic powers.
Jamie Dillion
Captain Corgi
Can summon a herd of corgis at will; either overwhelms enemies with cuteness or ferociousness
Jim Sterling
Lobster Regurgitator
Pins down criminals with claws and spews mini lobsters at them, then calls the cops on his cell that has moderate service.
Aaron Forsythe
Butter Man
Excretes butter from his hands for toast or corn. Or other stuff.
Tally
Scissor Girl
Anytime, anywhere, her hands can turn into any kind of scissors.
Bill’s Mom
Splatter
Cape made of silica gel packs. When a pack is thrown it turns into a bugsplat and forces someone to do a good deed.
Bill
Ginger Whirlwind
Has really long arms and spins like a tornado.
Bonnie Burton
Super Snooze
Could make anyone fall asleep instantly; they’ll shut up and get the best night sleep of their lives.
Dale Friesen
Large Print Man
Helps people with unexpected visual problems; sidekick is Corrective Lenses.
Max Temkin
Captain Janeway
Navigating unknown space while upholding Federation law.
Small Ian
Captain Defenestration
Can generate windows anywhere and throws villains out of them.
Cori
Bidoof
Rollout
Pika
Cat-Lady Woman
Throws crazy cat ladies who then throw cats at everyone.
Ash
Ashra Disastra
Can calm/reverse natural disasters by shaming them into submission.
Jer
The Sea Chef
Cooks crustaceans humanely, i.e., without boiling them alive.
Kim
Salad Lass
Has a salad spinner shield, a bandolier of weaponized vinaigrettes, and the Tongs of Justice.
Dammit Liz
Forced Perspective
Can make anyone she talks to see her point of view.
Dan Wu
Fiddler on the Roof
While on a roof has a mastery of the violin.
Brent
Jerry Rigg
Can build anything but it’s always made of the incorrect materials.
Sol Kauffman
Shipman the Shippingman
Can fit anything into any size packaging and get the lowest shipping rate on it, but anything he does this to is irreversibly changed and it’s different every time.
Mike Whitaker
Hype-atia
Uses hip-hop dance moves to fight evil: pop-and-lock = super flexibility; b-girling = super agility; ticking = slows down time; tutting = creates force shield. Armor contains a stereo to drop sick beats.
Andy
Little Lady Luck
Very good at catching busses right on time; drinks milk _right_ before it expires.
Brendan
Garçon
Travels the world to fight against the bland flavoring of the evil La Chef Dujour wit his utility belt of spices. Sidekick is Condiment Boy.
Graham Stark
Awkward_Fart.wav
Can spontaneously fart on command, with complete control over sound and smell. Used primarily for comedy.
Kathleen De Vere
Derp Cop
He has the power to detain people by blasting them with high intensity Derp Rays.
Alanna
Disinfectant Lady
Excretes disinfectant.
Maya
Sunkern
Sunkern Sunkern, Sunkern Sunkern Sunkern. SUNKERN!!!
Ian
The Soccer Team
He can multiply himself into eleven people, but only one can use their hands.
[Unknown]
The Feng Shui Ninja
Messes with the feng shui of the room to make everything uncomfortable.
Ashley
The Pit Stopper
The ability to correct all bad driving.
Kate Stark
Super Squee
Gain power from relative cuteness from those around her.
Jess
The Shipinator
Ships anything, anywhere.
Dix
Mod Man
Able to read scrolling text with the greatest of ease and able to ban at the speed of light.
Paul
Bass Fisherman
He’s a sound-based superhero. He can cause earthquakes with his low voice. The fishing thing is just to confuse his foes.
Beej
2-D Lad
Sees everything at 20/15 but it all looks like it’s printed on a piece of paper. Ironically, aper does not exist to him.
Ben W
Ingestro
Can determine any type of poison, but only after ingesting it.
Thomas
The Metabolizer
Can convert caloric energy _directly_ into physical/force/electrical energy. Weakness: celery.
Andrew
The ‘Shopper
Able to alter the fabric of reality using only a computer.
Cameron
Multiple Man
Able to perceive all possible outcomes of decisions, but cannot choose from them.
Andre
Conniving Crosstalk
While in a group, he can selectively allow or prevent specific people from hearing conversation, regardless of their position in the group. Weakness: utter silence.
Serge
Insomnia
Doesn’t have to sleep — ever! Imagine how much you could get done! Weakness: can’t work faster than a normal person, sleep rays.
Ashton
Elephant Man
He remembers everything, which fills him with a terrible, tragic sadness.
I think Blackout was my favorite, just for the way it was told, i.e., Blackout has no idea he’s just narcoleptic.
The Metabolizer was my favorite, for the Extra Credit science joke
For those that don’t get it: celery contains ‘negative calories’; that is, it takes more energy to eat a stick of celery than the celery itself has to begin with.
Bus it, I saw the bit with the Feng Shui Ninja, now if only I could remember who came up with it…
Super Invisibility Man and Cat-Lady Woman are easily my favourite of the bunch though.
[…] for more than six days, all of which was streamed live over the Internet. The event featured many special guests, among them Penn and Teller, Paul and Storm, and Bill Corbett — but none as special as the […]
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