November 24, 2011, 11:05 pm
Posted by: Kara

This final installment of the epic Dengler & Butts series is brought to us by Tim Jablonski:

Dengler didn’t know if it was the pain in his leg or the weight of the mission, but he had cartoon theme songs stuck in his head.  Some part of him wondered if a dubstep versions existed, but there was no time for that.

Backup was largely out of the question.  They weren’t sure how high the corruption went up the chain, and they couldn’t afford to take chances.

Dengler’s tracing knowledge had led them to the bulk of the remaining terrorist forces, including the leader.  Actually, he may not have been the leader, but Butts and Dengler had yet to see a terrorist henchmen that wore both an eyepatch and a monocle.  He was definitely the priority in all of this.  It was like the roots of a plant or the head on a zombie, get rid of him and the rest would wither away.

Unfortunately, this man had dozens of armed guards, something plants or zombies never had (plants have been known to arm themselves on rare occasions, but this is the exception that proves the rule).

Dengler and Butts crouched behind a dumpster, just outside of view.

“Any more bright ideas, Rookie.”

Dengler shook his head.  “I don’t see how we can get close enough to take him out.  We’ll be spotted the second we move.”

Butts nodded.  “We need some kind of diversion.”

The two pondered their predicament.  This would be a tougher than a mile long QWOP.  It would normally take 20 men to run this operation.  They weren’t twenty men, but they were two Steves, and that would have to be enough…


Tigre had taken a moment to wipe off his monocle when the commotion broke out.  He placed it back in to see a strange person flailing his limbs to and fro as he meandered down the street.  His men were moving in to question the man, who Tigre noticed was not wearing a shirt.  However his men were smacked relentlessly by the stranger’s flailing limbs.  Eventually, the man was taken into custody after he attempted to climb the stairs and fell.  Rather than pick himself up, he simply continued to flail on the stars.  Eight of his men finally managed to restrain him.

Tigre approached the man, raising an eyebrow.  “You really shouldn’t be here.  What, pray tell, are you trying to pull?”

The man stopped flailing for and looked straight into Tigre’s eye(s?):

“I was going to the store.”

Tigre didn’t have time to even brace himself, as Butts crashed into his side, tackling him to the ground.  Dengler broke free from the men that had been holding him and moved to take Tigre’s weapon, pointing it to the mans head.

The remainder of the terrorist forces simply stood in stunned silence, not quite sure if what they saw was actually occurring.  One by one, weapons were laid down and hands went up in the air.



“You’re sure about this?”  Butts had never been one for flying.

“Don’t worry!”  Dengler called from the cockpit.  I’ve practiced this literally ones of times!”

“I’m taking a vacation after this!”  Butts jumped out of the plane.

But Butts will never take a vacation, for crime never sleeps, and neither do…



11 Comments on “Dengler & Butts: Chapter 10”

  1. Sir, I commend you for actually finding a way to end this story. You are a man among men who deserves the utmost respect… probably. The monocle and eyepatch joke was great.

    Just a general question, do you think Dengler will send us copies of the comic if we hed our chapters chosen?

    By Joshua Novak - November 24th, 2011 11:20 pm
  2. Thank you for the kind words, though I hesitate to call this an ending. Also kudos to you for Dong Ki-Kong and his partner.
    I have no idea what Dengler intends to do with what we’ve written (though I can certainly hope). If I ever find myself in possession of a Dengler and Butts Comic I will find my mean English Teacher from a few years back and rub it in her face that I contributed to a publication and she never did (and probably make a fool of myself in doing so, and I really use too many parentheticals).

    I don’t know if Dengler ever will read this, but I do have to say thank-you for doing this. I don’t have a whole lot of money that I can contribute to the event, but this allowed everyone involved to contribute in ways that were otherwise impossible (Also it is because of you that I have the means to play Psychonauts. Mac users need love too!)

    By Tim Jablonski - November 25th, 2011 12:01 am
  3. You know what, I’d like to thanks Mr. Dengler as well. I am so glad that in some little way a poor college student was able to add to this awesome event. You are the reason that I can say I raised 200$ for Child’s Play, and that makes me very happy Mr. Dengler. You are the most awesome, pig sweetening mother-busser ever.

    By Joshua Novak - November 25th, 2011 12:12 am
  4. I had also written an ending to this, so it’s interesting to see a different take on it. Nice to see you with the continuation hook in there as well. Good show

    By Garrett - November 25th, 2011 12:31 am
  5. I’ve already proclaimed myself for #TeamAshton, but this is one team that should command love from everyone. Though I’ll also never renounce my declaration for #TeamAshton, I do have a deep and heartfelt respect for Dengler and Butts.

    Number 2 in my heart, number 1 in my fan fiction.

    (I hope the comic he mentioned will truly work out, even as a one-off limited run. I’d greatly like to get my hands on this graphic novel.)

    By DoctorGyarados - November 25th, 2011 12:38 am
  6. I also would like to declare my love for Dengler and Butts, I don’t know what’s going to be done with it, but reading it has been an amazing part of this crazy ride. Wonderful ending, wonderful show.

    By Gavin - November 25th, 2011 1:18 am
  7. I know it would be weird, but I kinda think Dengler and Butts would make for an awesome craftalong. Just a collection of short stories, maybe even with one done as a round robin with some of the authors that worked on this. I know it would be kind of odd, but I’d love to keep writing this stuff. I just never get tired of finding unique ways to use bus as a swear word.

    By Joshua Novak - November 25th, 2011 1:22 am
  8. It isn’t perfect–it isn’t even polished–but it’s a reasonably cohesive story, and We Did It!
    All you are a credit to the team.


    By Arilla - November 25th, 2011 5:06 am
  9. I’d like to share my take on the finally, just for the bus of it. Linked externally to save on spamming the comments section here:

    By Garrett - November 25th, 2011 3:10 pm
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