On Sunday we made some NFL picks, based only on the team names.

How did we do? Here’s a recap of the results from Sunday and Monday!

• Chiefs v Panthers Panthers scratch out a 3-point win ❌ De-clawed. Chiefs won by 3
• Broncos v Saints Saints march to victory by 6 ❌ Desanctified. Broncos won by 2.
• Rams v Jets Jets soar to a 20 point win ❌ Grounded. Rams won by 3.
• Packers v Titans The only Ten-I-see is Titans winning by 10 ✅ Tennesseein’ is Tennebelievin! Titans won by 22.
• Falcons v Eagles Eagles win the battle of the birds of prey by 14 ✅ Flying high now! Eagles won by 9.
• Vikings v Washington Vikings maraud to a 9-point win ❌ Like helmet horns, historically unfounded. Washington won by 6.
• Texans v Jaguars Texans win a close one by 1 ✅ Don’t mess with Texas! Won by 3.
• Bears v Buccaneers Bears maul Bucs by 14 ❌ Buc’d the trend. Buccaneers won by 26.
• Dolphins v Chargers Dolphins flip an 8-point victory ✅ Party in the city where the heat is on! Dolphins win by 7.
  
• 49ers v Cardinals Niners by 9 ❌ Missed the gold rush. Cards won by 3.
  
• Cowboys v Steelers Stillers win a couch-burner by 4 ❌ There are couches aflame in Steel City. Cowboys won by 5.
• Seahawks v Patriots Seahawks see victory by 6 ✅ Get in the mosh pit! Seattle won by 7. 
• Bengals v Giants Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengals? The Giants will, by 12 ✅ Giants towered over competition by 1

6-for-13 baby! Trust the process!!!!

We’re not even 24 hours into Desert Bus X and we’re already at the point where not only do I not know what day it is, but I’ve mostly forgotten how weeks work.

Those more grounded in reality tell us today is Sunday, aka NFL gameday! There are 13 games taking place today so, as is tradition, we’re attempting to predict the winners and margins of victory… however, we know nothing about football so we’re making our prognostications based solely on the team names!

• Chiefs v Panthers Panthers scratch out a 3-point win 
• Broncos v Saints Saints march to victory by 6 
• Rams v Jets Jets soar to a 20 point win 
• Packers v Titans The only Ten-I-see is Titans winning by 10 
• Falcons v Eagles Eagles win the battle of the birds of prey by 14 
• Vikings v Washington Vikings maraud to a 9-point win 
• Texans v Jaguars Texans win a close one by 1
• Bears v Buccaneers Bears maul Bucs by 14 
• Dolphins v Chargers Dolphins flip an 8-point victory
• 49ers v Cardinals Niners by 9
• Cowboys v Steelers Stillers win a couch-burner by 4
• Seahawks v Patriots Seahawks see victory by 6
• Bengals v Giants Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengals? The Giants will, by 12

Looks like a solid set of picks to me! Now let’s get out there and gridiron!

With your help, the busing crew made some picks for the weekend’s NFL action. How did we do? Pretty dang awesome! Here’s the match by match rundown:

The Bills put on a Wild West show and ran roughshod over the Jets. CALLED IT!

The Bears cast Earthbind on the Ravens. They were wizard bears, we should have mentioned that. OOPS!

The Bengals earned their stripes and mauled the Browns. CALLED IT!

The Eagles soared over the, uh, other team. CALLED IT!

The Steelers showed their mettle against the Lions. CALLED IT!

The Buccaneers made down comforters of the Falcons. CALLED IT!

The Cardinals proved why they are the state bird of seven different states and embarrassed the Jaguars. OOPS! (Why did we bet against the Arizona team? Isn’t that kind of like the Desert Bus home side?)

The Raiders dared to Mess with Texas, and somehow got away with it. CALLED IT!

The Dolphins swam circles around the bewildered Chargers. OOPS!

The Saints gave the 49ers a stern lesson in proper theology and geometry, then helped themselves to a few celebratory hot dogs. CALLED IT!

The Giants trampled the Packers and scarcely stopped to check the bottom of their shoes. CALLED IT!

The Seahawks swashbuckled their way to victory over the Vikings, spurred on by a rousing Korngoldian score. CALLED IT!

The Broncos overcame their lack of opposable thumbs and managed to defeat the Chiefs. OOPS!

With all of the Sunday games done, we’re sitting pretty at 9 and 4, two games better than ESPN’s so-called “experts.” Now, as far as the spreads go, things were not quite as good, but even still, as of now, our Desert Bus football pool has netted a tidy $29.24 for the children!